DO BROKEN HOMES PRODUCE BROKEN CHILDREN?(TIPS FOR MAKING DIVORCE LESS PAINFUL FOR KIDS)

Divorce will always have a damaging effect on children,and it’s time for adults to stop playing the game of denial children are resilient,but this doesn’t mean that they are not seriously affected by the break – up of their homes.

According to Dr H. Norman Wright, psychologist and eminent Christian family counsellor, research illustrates that a child of parents who are going through a divorce experience the same stages of grief that he would if a parent had died! .

Some children cope well and thrive successfully but ,as a group,the children of divorce are at risk.they are more depressed and aggressive towards parents and teachers and are most likely to develop mental and emotional disorders later in life.

They start sexual activity earlier, have more children out of wedlock,abuse drugs more frequently,are more involved in crime,and are more likely to commit suicide.

Tips for making divorce less painful for children

Inform the child: whereas as the child should not be exposed to all the ugly details of a divorce, shutting a child off from the process leads to feelings of confusion and isolation.the child will often blame himself for the break up.The child should be encouraged to ask questions, which promotes open dialogue between you.

Model dignity and respect: parents are the child’s primary role models and are the prime influence in self worth and character development.should you have a build- up of resentment and anger,seek counselling in an environment where you can safely vent without your children being present to witness.your kids are watching you handle all aspects of the divorce process with dignity and respect- respect for your self and for your partner,who will continue to be their parents even after divorce.

Repair any pessimism: pessimism towards marriage or building a new relationship is a common side effect of divorce. When a parent loses faith in marriage,it becomes easy to pass such feelings on to a young impressionable child. Discuss with them (within appropriate boundaries) the reason why your marriage didn’t work out .but be positive about your future.

Assign a task: while not making a child a member of your legal team ,try to make him feel a part of the transitions that occur following the divorce.should you be forced to move,or change schools or churches,make the child a ‘helper’. A child likes to feel important and involved.

Pay attention: through all the emotional stress you experience, keep your eyes open for emotional reactions in your child. your child is going through tough times also . don’t be so distracted by your own pain that you fail to recognize depression,drug or alcohol abuse,or other drastic changes in behavior.consent vigilance and open communication remain best friends for moving the child towards healing.

Thats all for today’s post guys hope this was helpful till my next post love, light and peace ✨

7 THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T BE DOING IN YOUR FRIENDS ‘ RELATIONSHIPS

It surprises me a lot to know that some people actually think doing most of these things are normal but in actual sense doing any of these things is condescending and disrespectful. Here are 7 things you shouldn’t be found doing in your friends relationship.

Photo by Artem Podrez on Pexels.com

#1 Reading their chats without their permission: let’s say your friend is sleeping and you see a text pop in from his or her significant other ,and some how you just happened to click on it quickly click off because there’s probably a lot of personal stuff they have discussed that don’t concern you and it is simply disrespectful to go through their chats .

Staying away from arguments

#2 Never involve yourself in their arguments: when ever you notice they are having an argument it’s best to either sit still with your mouth shut or you just step out . don’t be there chosing sides and making things worse.

let them spend quality time together without you being a third wheel

#3 Respect boundaries give them their space : you should know when they don’t want you around and you shouldn’t be offended .

Meeting up behind their backs

#4 Meeting up or talking to their gf’s or bf’s behind their backs: well unless you’re planning a surprise for your friend I don’t see why you should be meeting up or talking with eachother without your friend being there.

Laughing out loud at their conversations

#5 Making derogatory comments or laughing out loud when they are on a call with their partner: some people are actually cool with this but if you are some one like me that doesn’t even feel comfortable that my partners friend or Friends are listening to or conversation let a lone laughing you would know that it’s not nice.

Arguing with your friends significant other

#6 Getting into a fight or arguing with your friends significant other: this is a no no . You can have disagreements but it should never escalate to a heated argument or a fight you would just make your friend embarrassed. And it shows you have no respect for him or her .

Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels.com

#7 Talking shit about your friend to their partner : this is pretty self explanatory and quite frankly if you think this is okay you might have a problem.

let’s try to be good trustworthy friends so we can have trustworthy friends too I mean it can’t hurt can it? . If you would like to add something to this please leave it down in the comments just write down what ever you feel like or you can even say hi I love talking with y’all.

thats all for this post till my next as always love , light and peace ✨

LOVE: A CHOICE? OR A FEELING?

For the most part of my life I’ve always believed that love is a feeling and I had always longed to know what it felt like .i remember asking my friends that were in love as at then what being in love felt like an there answers were some where along the lines of you would just know or you’ll just feel it in other words they were trying to say they can’t really explain how it feels but basically you’d just feel that different sensation inside you just like the movies 😒. And I actually thought this was real I’m not saying it’s not , because this is a controversial topic but I’m just saying that there were many times I thought I was getting close to being in love and I was finally getting that feeling that my mind told me nah it’s your brain that’s doing this calm down sis 😅 and my intuition was always right .

With all those close to falling in love experiences i had I realized that love isn’t actually a feeling but it is for a fact a choice.most commonly, love refers to a feeling of strong attraction and emotional attachment. Now this feeling of strong attraction is more like the process of falling in love and I said this because this isn’t a choice it’s actually what you feel inside . But you see staying in love that is most definitely a choice. When you decide to love someone with all their flaws,take them with all their problems and mostly go to lengths you would have never gone for anyone else you are making a choice and that is because you love this human being.

How long does it take to fall in love?

Frankly speaking you can fall in love in a matter of secs . You can fall in love with a person’s charisma , physique, facial expressions or even how the person speaks . You can fall in love with someone without even knowing him or her . But staying in love is a process as you begin to learn each other more and more everyday, weighing your likes and dislikes , sometimes making irrational decisions 😅 because actions follow emotions. you would slowly but surely know that it’s love… or not because I’m going to be real with you love isn’t a fairy tale and there aren’t always happily ever afters and that brings me to the next point.

Falling out of love…

Funny how at a time in my life I always thought that if you fall in love with someone and they’re in love with you too then it’s a sealed deal and you’d forever be in love .but with time I realized that falling out of love is real and very frequent in relationships and marriages I mean that’s the reason why some people are divorced. This is why I keep saying staying in love is a choice but please not when you are mentally and physically abused that’s just a death wish.

In conclusion

the bible tells us in 1corinthians that love is patient, love is kind ,love doesn’t boast, it is not self seeking,it doesn’t envy ,it is not easily angered and so on if there’s more 🤷🏾‍♀️ so basically if someone treat’s you these ways or you treat someone this way chances are that love is in the air💕

That’s all for this post sweeties till my next love, light and peace ✨

ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP OR A SITUATIONSHIP? pt 2(” rules of a situationship “and tips on ending a situationship the right way 😉)

In my last post I talked about what a situationship is and the signs that would let you know you are in a situationship . So in this post I will be letting you in on the “rules of a situationship” because if you’re going to be in a situationship you should at least know the rules just so you don’t do too much😉 I will also give you some tips on ending a situationship the right way.

Hi Love’s and welcome or welcome back to my blog I hope this information is helpful to you 💕 with out further preambles here are the rules of a situationship:

Rule #1 : Remember the person doesn’t belong to you and the person doesn’t own you.meaning that you can see other people or you can do as you please without relationship boundaries holding you back.

Rule#2: Take what they say to heart . because at this point they usually joke about what they actually mean .

Rule#3: always pay attention to how they treat you around their friends or people they love. These are keys to knowing the person’s true intentions for you .

Rule#4: Do not i repeat Do not! Get too attached to you situationship.always keep your emotions at distance.

Rule#5: if you’re sexually involved in your situationship please use condoms and try not to get STD’s .

Rule#5: lastly always remember you have options . Don’t settle for less.

Now that we are done highlighting the “RULES of a situationship” I’d be giving you the tips on ending a situationship the right way and I will be keeping it simple .

Being true to yourself sometimes requires a bit of courage and when it comes to breaking off a situationship honesty they say is the best policy. If it isn’t working for you stand up for yourself by telling the person you are moving on.

Check in with your wants.its time to stop trying to please the other or trying to figure them out and instead figure out your wants ,needs and why you’re in this situationship.

Incase you were wondering above in bold letters is a general summary on ending a situationship the right way .I personally like to read articles that are helpful and straight to the point and I really hope I achieved that goal .

once again if you have any questions, suggestions or more to add you are very welcome to do so in the comments. Till my next post 💕

Love, light and peace ✨

ARE YOU IN REAL RELATIONSHIP OR A SITUATIONSHIP?

Ever wondered if you were in an actual relationship with someone ? Ever questioned where you stand in the person you consider to be your partner’s life ? Well here’s how to find out.

Hi guys and welcome or Welcome back to my blog and here are some signs you might be in a situationship.

FIRST OF WHAT IS A SITUATIONSHIP?

A situationship is a casual, undefined, commitment- free relationship in other words we can term it “friends with benefits”.

you see there’s no problem with being in a situationship the problem is do you know you are in situationship? Here’s how to find out

YOU ARE NOT INVOLVED IN HIS/HER LIFE: That guy or that girl you’re seeing and hoping that you might actually be in a relationship with yh that person I need you to ask yourself personal questions about that person and if you are clueless then my dear you might actually be in a situationship.

THINGS DON’T PROGRESS IN THE RELATIONSHIP: it’s just the same old same old yunno having sex casually or have long unnecessary talks on the phone they never really want to define the relationship .that brings me to the third point.

YOU HAVEN’T HAD THE DTR(define the relationship ) TALK: this is so important in any brewing relationship you are in because it’s really nice to actually know where you stand in that person’s life.

YOU DON’T GO ON ACTUAL DATES:these guys do this most of the time .they just invite you to Netflix and chill frequently and of course you know what happens after that . during this time it may not occur to you that if this guy actually regarded you as his girlfriend he’d had taken you on an actual date a long long time ago.

NO FUTURE TALK: look girl I won’t even advice you to give in to any guy because he promised to marry you or he said you’d carry his kids bleh bleh bleh . Because some of them might be saying this and have no plans of having you in their future whereas some of them might actually mean it tho either way don’t give in till he puts a ring on your finger unless you want to play along too🤷🏾‍♀️.

thats all for now folks in my next post I’d be telling the RULES of a situationship and also including tips on how to end a situationship the right way .just leave a like and comment a yes of you would like to see that💕.

Till my next post …love , light and peace ✨

MEN ARE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED TOO!

I was triggered to write about this on my platform because of what recently happened to Nigerian artist/musician Ruger . Where a female fan grabbed his male genitals as he performed on stage at one of his concerts.

If you haven’t seen the video I suggest you go to YouTube to watch it I won’t be able to insert the video here due to technical difficulties but here’s a picture of what happened

it shows where the woman stretched out her hands and grabbed this young man’s penis.

This cannot be excused for anything at all because I can bet that this has happened so many times to men either in the music industry or elsewhere the difference is that this one happened publicly . You see men are always made to think that voicing out these kind of things would not change a thing and I won’t blame them because in the Nigerian society men are mostly seen as the sexual predators and no one has ever sat back to think that these same men might also be victims too .

Some young boys have grown up traumatized from being sexually abused in other words raped by either an older lady or the same gender .but they can’t voice it out so the hide there pain inside .

One time I heard a couple of females saying that” if a man is raped it shouldn’t be considered rape because he is enjoying it” and I was like no no no with this kind of mind set how do men speak out when people don’t understand that it is also painful for them to have unwanted sex.it surprises me more that even in the Nigerian constitution their is no provision for considering a man being raped .

according to the “Nigerian law”

It’s just really sad that men have to go through this without having a lawful justification.and don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to compare the rape or sexual assault rates between men and women I’m just saying that we feminists fight for equality in several things and I think men deserve the same rights .

That’s all for this post till my next post as always Love , light and peace ✨

MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE MORE IN THE RELATIONSHIP (TRUE?)

We can all agree that this has been and still is (in most cases) a controversial topic.but I will say yes! the man definitely needs to love more in the relationship not because they’re are not deserving of more love or because the women are like precious eggs but because that’s the only way to keep the man faithful and monogamous. since men are polygamous by nature,his love for her needs to be deeper and stronger.

Several times I’ve seen or heard men discuss issues like this with some women who call themselves “feminists”don’t get me wrong I am a feminist too but these so called”feminists” I refer to are not exactly speaking for the right cause . because the kept saying things like “why can’t the woman be the one to propose or ask the man out?” . Well if you are one of these feminists wondering the same thing let me break it for you .

You see most men have the mindset of a hunter they love the chase ,they love excitement in trying to woo a lady but when that is just given to them or the woman does the hunting instead they won’t complain but they definitely won’t value you as much as the lady they fought hard to win over .in as much as there are marriages or relationships where the woman proposed first that are standing strong I won’t still advise that method .I too as a woman enjoy that chase that feeling of mystery and finding this man out . I might have drifted a bit from the topic of this post but it still brings me back to the point that men need to love more in the relationship.

Thats all for this post my loves looking forward to seeing you in the next one as always Love, Light and Peace ✨

SEX HYGIENE TIPS FOR LADIES🍑

I bet everyone likes to feel good and fresh before and after sex . If you’re looking for tips to achieve that you’ve come to the right place.

Hi guys and welcome or welcome back to Teddy’s diary of love and here are some sex hygiene tips for the ladies🍑

USE UNSCENTED WIPES EVERY TIME

DRINK AT LEAST FIVE BOTTLES OF WATER EVERY DAY

INCORPORATE GRAPEFRUITS, PINEAPPLE, WATERMELON, BERRIES AND YOGURT IN YOUR DIET

ALWAYS EXFOLIATE BEFORE YOU SHAVE .

USE TEA TREE OIL TO MOISTURIZE AFTER SHAVING.

INVEST IN GOOD PRODUCTS FOR ONLY YOUR VAGINA.

TAKE YOUR VITAMINS.

LASTLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY SLEEP WITHOUT PANTIES.

with these few tips you are in ensure safe and problem free sex😘 . Till my next post sweeties love light and peace ✨

HOW TO SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE✨

I think we can all agree that with the responsibility of kids or work and all the stress that comes with being and adult marriage has become really boring .

Hi and welcome or welcome back to Teddy’s diary of love and here are practical tips on how to spark up your marriage.

BE SPONTANEOUS

you don’t necessarily need to make plans for any and every thing even research has shown that most times unplanned events turn out to be even much better than planned events.plus it brings that excitement of surprises back to the marriage.

GO ON VACATIONS

atleast once every year you and your partner should try to save and go on a family vacation or you could ask your parents or some one you trust to take care of your kids while you’re away .while your there don’t just stay in the hotel room all day explore places ,eat different food, take pictures and just have enough fun even if it’s just for a week.

SPONTANEOUS SEX

explore your sexual fantasies ,role play ,have sex in different places take risks feel the rush of adrenaline through your veins try new styles .

NICE INDOORS IDEAS FOR MY INDOORSY COUPLES

you can always Netflix and chill ,play indoor sex games have a nice candle lit dinner ,pray together or read together .

INCORPORATE DATE NIGHT IN YOUR SCHEDULE

make your lady feel like a queen and make your man feel like a queen have the evening to your selves and have a good time

If you want more Ideas on how to spice up your marriage please leave a comment I will definitely have a part 2 of this

THE LIES MEN TELL TO GET IN YOUR PANTIES.

we all tell lies from time to time for reasons best know to us because I mean we are humans it’s kinda inevitable 🤷🏾‍♀️ but the kind of lies men tell … just to have sex with a woman is appalling.

Hi guy’s and welcome or welcome back to Teddy’s diary of love .And here are most of “The lies men tell to get in your panties”

I’M SINGLE

this has to be the most common one of them all and it’s funny how we women always fall for it .I won’t blame any of us cuz these men can be so convincing. I’ve had an experience of this kind where the guy told me he was single and I ended up finding out that he was married 😂💔 but I’m giving it to him cuz he’s really good at being sneaky .

SEXUAL PROWESS

this is another very common one.this is where the man exaggerates how good he is at sex and he ends up falling short of expectations.

I WOULD NEVER LIE TO YOU

ladies if any guy has told you this especially a guy you just met best believe he is lying to you at the spot.they say things like this to get you trust them and then they strike .

WE ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED I JUST NEED TO CONFIRM THAT YOU’RE A VIRGIN.

this is mostly common in perverted Nigerian men .they mostly prey on naive and gullible girls.

I’LL JUST PUT THE TIP

another one very common in Nigerian men .my sister if he tells you this run!!😂

YOU’RE THE ONLY WOMAN IN MY LIFE/YOU ARE THE ONLY WOMAN I TALK TO

lies lies all f*cking lies ! Chances are he’s telling another girl the same thing over text at that point in time.once again my sister run.

I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND/WIFE BUT YOU’RE THE ONE I LOVE

Ladies beware of this one because most times when the confesses it’s just to gain your trust and have sex with you . they’d make you feel so special like you are so much better than their wife /girlfriend but surprise surprise a year later you’d still be his side chick while he is loving on his wife/girlfriend at your back and bad mouthing her and making fake promises to your face.

I’M THE HIGHEST PAID IN MY GROUP

if there one thing I admire about men is that the always have there friends back .you see in some of this cases the guy doesn’t even have a dime but his friends would give him a good coverage just so he could get laid.

MY PLAYER DAYS ARE OVER

Ladies I don’t need to say much here this is a major red flag🚩 as I said previously my sister run!

I Will WAIT TILL YOU’RE READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP

ladies if you don’t realize how big of a lie this is sorry for you.i think one thing women should really know is that these guys can be on your case for years not because they love you and certainly not because they’re waiting for you but just because the want to get in your panties.

There many more lies these men tell add yours in the comments.that will be all for now till my next post. LOVE, LIGHT AND PEACE ✨

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