Divorce will always have a damaging effect on children,and it’s time for adults to stop playing the game of denial children are resilient,but this doesn’t mean that they are not seriously affected by the break – up of their homes.
According to Dr H. Norman Wright, psychologist and eminent Christian family counsellor, research illustrates that a child of parents who are going through a divorce experience the same stages of grief that he would if a parent had died! .
Some children cope well and thrive successfully but ,as a group,the children of divorce are at risk.they are more depressed and aggressive towards parents and teachers and are most likely to develop mental and emotional disorders later in life.
They start sexual activity earlier, have more children out of wedlock,abuse drugs more frequently,are more involved in crime,and are more likely to commit suicide.
Tips for making divorce less painful for children
Inform the child: whereas as the child should not be exposed to all the ugly details of a divorce, shutting a child off from the process leads to feelings of confusion and isolation.the child will often blame himself for the break up.The child should be encouraged to ask questions, which promotes open dialogue between you.
Model dignity and respect: parents are the child’s primary role models and are the prime influence in self worth and character development.should you have a build- up of resentment and anger,seek counselling in an environment where you can safely vent without your children being present to witness.your kids are watching you handle all aspects of the divorce process with dignity and respect- respect for your self and for your partner,who will continue to be their parents even after divorce.
Repair any pessimism: pessimism towards marriage or building a new relationship is a common side effect of divorce. When a parent loses faith in marriage,it becomes easy to pass such feelings on to a young impressionable child. Discuss with them (within appropriate boundaries) the reason why your marriage didn’t work out .but be positive about your future.
Assign a task: while not making a child a member of your legal team ,try to make him feel a part of the transitions that occur following the divorce.should you be forced to move,or change schools or churches,make the child a ‘helper’. A child likes to feel important and involved.
Pay attention: through all the emotional stress you experience, keep your eyes open for emotional reactions in your child. your child is going through tough times also . don’t be so distracted by your own pain that you fail to recognize depression,drug or alcohol abuse,or other drastic changes in behavior.consent vigilance and open communication remain best friends for moving the child towards healing.
Thats all for today’s post guys hope this was helpful till my next post love, light and peace ✨